There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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