My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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