i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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