My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
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