great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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