Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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