At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
