What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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