my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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