he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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