I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
