idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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