thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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