I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
honey bunches of taint.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
