So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
