Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
