This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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