Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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