So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
