why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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