so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
