I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
