So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
