What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
