her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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