So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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