Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
