Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
