Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
