I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
