reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The power of my boobs compel you
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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