Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
