I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
