in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
