Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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