Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
