is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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