Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
