apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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