My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
