we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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