Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hippo gnu deer
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
