I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
