He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
