I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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