i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
