i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
