i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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