Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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