i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
